Amy's getting married!

Amy,

David's bridal is having their annual sale. Someone I worked with a few years ago got her dress their and I think it was close to $100 (which is a deal). Her dress was also elaborate and very popular so depending on their selection you might find a really good deal. I don't know how long the sale lasts but it might be good idea to at least look into.

-Lisa

Amy and I are thinking of having the reception at the LongTrail Brewery. Her brother works there, it overlooks a little river, its got indoor and outdoor seating, obviously its got booze...Tony says that they ahve closed it down for private parties before, and we are hoping that since he works there it wouldn't be to terribly expensive. Obviously the wine theme thing would have to sorta morph into a beer theme... But I think it would be nice, and we wouldn't have to have it at one of our houses.
anyway, that is sorta what we are thinking about now...

~Evan~

Hello all...this journal has been very quiet. I'm assuming that's because Amy and her parents need to have "the talk" so she knows what she's dealing with in terms of $$$. But I thought I would pass along this little tip I got from someone recently married anyways. Just putting it out there. My friend Carla got married last month in Florida and she did it with a $5,000 budget, incluing dress and all. She and her husband did away with a lot of the things people usually have. She said the DJ was the most expensive part. They had the reception in a Marriot, in the smallest room available, and let the hotel cater the wedding. As far as favors and such her grandmother paid for those as a wedding gift and her uncle paid for the drinks. They put two bottles of wine on each table, I think she said a red and blush, and then people paid for drinks at the bar. The reception was short and the photographer was really cheap because they just got a freelance photographer who they paid $60 per hour and then the processing costs, he took mostly candid photos which was cool. I've seen some of the pictures (i'm trying to figure out how to post them here) and it was beautiful. They kept everything stardard...like they use the marriot's plates and tablecloths. Everything was white. The catch was this: their guest list was only 55 people and about 45 came. So it was pretty small affair. But I thought I would put this little story up here so you guys had something to be optimistic about...a "cheap" wedding can be done. The major cut in costs was the food, she didnt have anything fancy (i.e. no seafood) just chicken parm and a beef dish. They also had a salad bar type of set up, with fruit.But here's the best part: she made $10,000. They didn't register for gifts (mostly because of time the planned the wedding in two months) and people gave them money. $2,000 came from her husbands boss but the rest came in $100 here or $50 there. They just finished counting everything and it was a little less than $10k.

I hope all is well with you people...Hearts and shanks.

-Andrea

um, I'll think about the dresses and stuff later....

....my mom still hasn't had the talk with me yet....we talk, but it's weird....she just tells me some stuff about her day and that's it....whenever I bring up evan she just kinda changes the subject....so yeah. not good right now.

.....keep me updated about boston parties and ice age and stuff....

Thinking about moving up to Vermont in a few months....Evan's grandparents have a house in Arlington that nobody lives in that we think we can stay in....so I may not be in Boston anymore. anyway....I'm out

peace out ya'll...

amy

I have decided to devote the month of February to partying because come this time next year I'll probably be contemplating slitting my wrists. I felt the need to share so Amy I might show up on your doorstep real soon.

Is it sad that I go to Boston to party?

So here's the deal. Can we wear chiffon instead of satin? I don't know about everyone else but I don't really were satin often but a chiffon dress I know I might wear again.

That's all really. One more thing, ask you mom (Amy) if she knows who tried to steal a ham from the supermarket. Because, that delightful story made it in the NYC news (I'm a few weeks late).

Here's the thing about the benefit idea, or at least here's my thing. I hate going to events like that because I feel guilty while I'm there. I feel guilty for not donating more money and (as I'm sure I will be poor by the time this wedding rolls around) I'll feel bad because I won't be able to afford to donate money and get a gift. I think weddings like that are only really successful when the people invited are in the upper middle class or at least have a more disposable income. I do like the idea of a rum punch, but if you want to do a champagne punch instead just get sparkling wine. I got a really good bottle for $13 the other day (or maybe it was $10). The only difference between sparkling wine and champagne is that champagne actually comes from the champagne region. There isn't a significant difference in taste and in some cases the sparkling wine is better. The kind I bought was called Reymos something. The bottle is dark green and the bottom is really wide. In case you want to try it out before hand...

How are talking going with the parental units because depending on your dress you might want to start shopping soon, and I like dress shopping. Let me know.

So one of my friends at work is getting married in October and she just chose a place and bought a dress. Anyways, she has a lot of money to play with so her advice is not the best, but she did say that her brother had a rum punch at his wedding instead of an open bar and it was successful. He did away with the champange toast, because no one really drinks the champagne and just had everyone use the drinks they purchased or the punch. It costs him about $250 for the punch, which she said tasted like Sangria.

She also said he had his wedding outside and it was June...big mistake! They had a tent and was like 150 degrees out. Something else that came up...You may not want to do this but I thought it was interesting. One of my other friends at work her sister had a benefit wedding. Each guest had to make a small donation to a charity (I think it was a children's hospital) and because they did this they were able to get food donated and a local business paid for a portion of the costs of the catering hall. All together she spent about $4k, which isn't too much.

It's an idea. The problem with it is that some people won't bring gifts if they think they had to donate money and you probably need the gifts to start your new life together. But it's just a thought but I thought it was a good way to cut costs and benefit a good cause.

-Andrea

YAY!!! We're going to see Ice Age!!!

Maybe you can have the wedding at the concession stand and the reception could be the movie?
...don't say no immediately. Let it simmer for a bit and see how you feel about it in a few days.

So I take a break from the LJ world and there's all this drama on Amy's blog. haha. glad i missed it. Ummm...I have nothing to report. I've been crazy busy so "wedding planning" hasn't been an option this week. I got the idea about the wine at the bar and I said it's a good alternative.

Everything will be fine. Amy's mom will forgive her...Evan and Amy will have an awesome wedding, because reallly all you need for a great wedding is good people...

It'll be great and at the end of the day we'll all still be friends.

Hearts all! -Andrea

thanks guys...

lisa did you seriously use the word 'dudettes'? ...wow.

...and yes, we should totally go see ice age.

meg, I'd love to do the wine expo....of course :) evan and I were looking at it, but it's a lil pricey, and I only have sunday off that week....so that's the only day I'd be able to go (so he's not coming up that weekend since I only have 1 day off and he's got a ton of work to do)...but anyway...if the tickets are free and you wanna go sunday, I'm there with ya babe. otherwise....enjoy and drink plenty for me :)

....I think that's it.

...apparently the elementary principal was at my mom's restaurant saturday and said something to her about me and evan dating...and my mom told her that we were engaged and I guess she went off to her about how we were too young. ....so yeah....that's awesome.

...anyway, I'm off to take a nap :)

...we totally need to do something for fatty (I had her cremated)..

....peace

Ok Dudettes! The tension is rising and I think the best way to calm everyone down is to pick a date to go and see Ice Age...y'all know you want to see it.

Sorry, your mom isn't talking to you. She'll come around. She's just shocked.

I agree with Meg about the journal. We're not trying to push our ideas on you and stress you out more than you need to be. Although, I am glad that you put your footdown and told us what was up. Just let it all out, and give Whitey a hug.

By the way, I have already called dibs on the potluck reception. It's been day three of my wedding for many years now so hands off bitches!

I'm bored. There's nothing to do at work today.

I think the buffet is a really good idea. In addition, to saving money on the amount of food you'll also save on waitstaff and I get to take home a doggy bag.

Did anyone catch the Golden Globes? If so, let me know so we can gossip.

On a serious note. I think we should plan to meet up mid-April to see Ice Age in Fatty's honor. We owe it to the old girl who was brutally brought down at her peak by Evil Nate. (Nate doesn't read this thing right?)

~meg wrote this entry

amy darling--

first of all, breathe.

second of all, i don't think any of us seriously think you're going to make a decision on the wine now. or on a lot of other things. but with the journal like this, it's basically a way to hash out ideas, which means that people are going to be going back and forth about things all the time. basically, it's a way to write things down as we think of them, so that we don't forget them later (which i am famous for). that's why you're going to see stuff posted that you maybe don't necessarily need to make a decision on right away, but stuff you don't necessarily want to forget.

basically, because we can't do all this in person, stuff is probably going to be hashed out back and forth between people on here, and through phone calls, but remember: it's your wedding. ultimately, it's your decision. but you're probably going to sift through lots of different ideas on here. we're working on "the more options the better" principle. but to be honest, if you wanted to have your wedding in a field, with all of us in whatever dresses we in our closets, with a potluck hoe-down in a barn for a reception, i'm cool with it. hell, it's vermont. i bet you could do that anyway.

third of all, i can get us tickets to go to a wine expo on sunday, the 29th of january. wanna go? let me know soon, before all the tickets go away.

if you're really stressing out, take a break from reading this for a while, and let me, andrea, and lisa go back and forth on things. just let us know, so i don't try to leave you messages on here that you aren't going to read. i understand, my little kmart buddy, that money is a big issue. you've seen my kmart joy. that's why we're bouncing back and forth about things--we're trying to figure out the best deals, so that when the time does come, you have a full selection of cheap options to choose from.

amy, do not read the following section. it's notes for later. no need to stress out now. please divert your eyes. go have a cookie.
--buffet style is good. that tends to be cheapers than sit-down plated meals.
--bringing in outside booze can save money, but when you do decide on a place to have it, check and see if they have a "corking fee" ( a fee for opening the bottles basically.) some places will, some won't.

Alright everyone....you all need to calm down.

*We told our parents, we'll talk with them about a budget as soon as my mom is speaking to me again (seriously).

*the date is 7/7/07.

*evan and I are looking in to places around rutland (like killington, because yes it's close) for the place to have it, we'll figure that bit out.
we're looking to do a buffet style dinner, my mom's restaurant may donate food, I'm not sure....she has a lot of connections through the restaurant, so...I'm hoping she'll take advantage of those soon.
evan and I were thinking that since we drink a lotta wine we'll take the bottles we've drank and clean them up and put a lil note like...what we were doing when we drank it (like the night he proposed) or some other cutesy story on it for the center pieces (probably with a flower or something inside).
I think you guys all misunderstood the idea about the wine at the bar....we were going to pick 4 TYPES of wine that we've tried at wine tastings, buy a few cases and have those as open bar with a description we wrote up....but given that my parents are BEYOND POOR, we may only do 2 types if we can even swing that.
You guys don't understand how little money my parents have, this wedding will mostly fall on me and evan, so don't tell me that I have to have an open bar....because most likely, I can't afford one. I'll do what I can to get money to do this because we obviously both want a nice wedding for ourselves, but my parents can't even afford to fix their cars, I can't ask them to pay for my wedding. So you all need to relax 'cause this is stressing me out. I have no money...evan doesn't either...so until I can figure out where the cash is coming from I think you guys need to stop telling me what I need to buy because I'm just getting anxious about all this money that I don't have.

I really appreciate you all helping me and I know that you're trying to find cheap ways to make this work for me, and that's great. but I'm a little overwhelmed at the cost of everything right now and I just need some time to talk with evan and our families about how much we can feasibly spend. besides, the wedding is a year and a half off....we have time to plan. so if you see things that give you an idea, great, post it...but I'm not making any decisions until our families have a chance to chat and until evan and I can find a cheap place to have the wedding/reception at.

-amy

Sorry, I was the one to post as a comment. I'm not really sure how to use this thing. But here goes:

You guys need to come up with a budget. Decide how much you want to spend and then decide what's most important to you. But you need to 1) tell your parents; and 2) pick a date really soon. Most engagements last a year because that's how far in advance you have to reserve a lot of things. I've done my research and here's what I've found. Mid April to September as well as late November to mid February are the most expensive times of year to have a wedding. The reason is because most people like to get married in the summer months and around cheesy Valentine's day, and then you have to factor in holiday parties. March or October are probably your best bets but consider things like your guest's ability to travel and weather when making your decision. Back to the open bar debate. Just because you have an open bar, doesn't mean you have to serve hard liquor. You can get some bottles of wine 1 red and 1 white, maybe some beers and sodas and call it a day. I think having a wine tasting in lieu of the bar will only remind people that there isn't an open bar. And I've been checking people's posts online and that's a subject a lot. You might also want to consider having a morning wedding. It sucks to get up early on a saturday or sunday, but menu will be less expensive because you'll only be serving brunch and people will probably drink less. Here's a link with more ideas. Some of them are pretty good. I think I read somewhere about a place that sells old wine bottles cut down so they look really nice. All you need to do is stick 2 flowers in each or slide a votive down into the bottom and you've got a kick as center piece.

http://www.theknot.com/ch_article.html?Object=AI980914212034&keywordType=2&keywordID=156&parentID=527
The only thing on the list that I don't agree with is a consultant. They might know how to save more money, but you still have to pay them one hell of a fee. By the way, how far is the Killington resort from Rutland? Couldn't you have the wedding there?

-Lisa

I didn't mean having an open bar all night. But there should be an hour where drinks are free. And of all the weddings I've been to I've never been to one where people had to pay for drinks all night. But I do think that the wine idea is a good one as an alternative. If you really can't swing an open bar then picking four types of wine would be a great idea. It goes with the theme but i don't think it'll save you THAT much money. It may be a little cheaper. As I told Amy last night this is not something that has to be decided on now. Once they choose a place to have the wedding they can talk about costs of open bar or serving wine. This is a stupid thing to be hung up on more than a year before the planned date.

 

-Andrea

i don't agree with the "you have to have an open bar or people think you're cheap" thing. the last 5 weddings or so that i've been to (i swear to god each year another cousin gets married) haven't had an open bar. and this spanned all sorts of weddings, from ones done on the cheap side, to ones where they put a lot of money into it. one of them did put some wine on the table. one of them had an open bar for 1 hour (but this was a wedding with a cocktail hour). another had two bowls of champagne punch that was free, but everything else you had to pay for. another of them only had the champagne glasses for toasting. i think people don't expect an open bar as much anymore--especially with the prices of the wedding overall going up. i personally haven't gone to a single wedding without bringing money and expecting to have to pay for drinks. if they don't want to pay to drink, then they can have water.

if you do want to provide some free drinkage, definately limit it, but be realistic. 4 bottles of wine for the entire wedding isn't going to cut it, but maybe 1 bottle of wine on each table? it really will depend on how many people you have/what you can afford (i know amy has a big family like myself)

the asking friends and family to pay for things as your gifts is definately a good idea. my cousin actually got a lot of her wedding done that way (flowers were a gift from a cousin who owned a flower shop, they knew a photographer, etc.) don't be afraid to pull whatever strings you got.

~meg

All right kids. I've been thinking and we all have to get serious about the cost of this wedding. Cheap weddings these days cost about $10,000 and that's a really cheap wedding. Getting a place to have it in will run a few thousand. A DJ can run between $1.5K - $2k, depending on how long you need him/her. You absolutely have to have an open bar. That's the one thing you cannot be cheap with. You can't have people pay for drinks, they'll think it's cheap.

Here's where costs can be cut (this is advice from someone who recently got married and paid about $12K for her wedding on long island...which is real cheap since she got married in the Hamptons):

1. limit the guest list. Shoot for 75-85 people. That's not a lot, but you'll have to do it. And this is why. The caterer will want about $40 a head and that's if there's nothing special about the meal. You do the math if you have just 50 people you're already looking at nearly $2k. Not only that the room will be much more expensive if they have to accomodate more than 100 people. No desert...just wedding cake and maybe fruit.

2. Limit the menu. Don't serve 50 types of meat. Don't have every cheese under the sun. Try to avoid seafood if you can. It's expensive.

3. Set a real date...And you should probably shoot for something early spring or fall.

4. Tell your parents and see if they can/are willing to help with something.

5. Tell relatives that they can contribute by paying for something. If you have a grandparent or aunt/uncle that wants to do something ask them to help with the flowers or music or the photogragher.

6. speaking of music and flowers...you're going to have to be cheap with that.

7. Don't go crazy with photos, go with the cheapest package.

8. Keep it short. There's no need for a ten hour wedding.

9. obviously there can be NO cocktail hour. Most people won't notice. It's not worth the money anyway. You can have some music playing and food served during the first hour, but there is no reason to have an official "cocktail" hour (a lot of places will insist on having it in a separate room).

10. http://www.brides.com/instantbudget/ check this out.

11. Think about doing it on a Sunday instead of a Saturday.

~Andrea

 

ummmm...i think it just sunk in...amy is getting married.

-andrea

i added a wine picture to the journal. because it needed it damnit. i also changed the title of the journal, but don't worry, you still get to it through www.livejournal.com/users/amyandevanwed i just thought it needed a more interesting title.

amy, you forgot to the include the link to that list you want.

i also recommend that you get some kind of notebook and devote it specifically to the wedding, so you can make lists, etc.

let me know what your schedule is like the next couple of (week)days, and maybe we can go peek at the color of those bridesmaid dresses.

~meg

here's a check list that I found online of things that need to be done and vaguely when they should be done by....I don't know anything about wedding planning (obviously), so not sure how good it is...and obviously we'd tailor it to this specific wedding...but it would be helpful to me if you guys looked it over and added or subtracted stuff so I can print out a list of what I actually need to do....I'm a big list person....I like to be able to check stuff off and see it...(remember the post it's andrea?? :) ....so yeah...it says something about buying a calendar on there....is there a calendar on livejournal? maybe we can do it on here for all of us to view...?

anyway....gotta go...

ames